Growing Up

So today, after my internship, I went to one of my favorite places near school (Yellow Springs) and spent the last few hours of sunshine hanging out, doing homework and just thinking. If you know me, I have a lot of thoughts, some of them I share, but I generally keep a lot more of them to myself. Anyway, I went to a new coffeeshop (I say new, because it's the first time I strayed away from Dino's on my own) and it was wonderful. The atmosphere was great and I got an assignment done and drank incredible coffee. After, I went outside and walked around the town and went to the playground. Since it was almost 70 degrees outside, you can imagine the number of people outside. If you cannot imagine it, or if you have never been to Yellow Springs, the town was SWARMING. That's besides the point though. Back to my story. I went to the playground and found the swingset completely open, so of course, I ran over and began to swing and as I did a million thoughts came to mind. I'm going to share a few of them with you. 

As this post is entitled "Growing Up" you can probably guess the direction that I'm going. Now I should probably also mention that I had a little too much caffeine today and my mind was on hyperspeed, but I digress. My life has always been one of constant busyness... even today, I went to class, ran all over campus to deal with a car registration issue, went to internship, had a birthday dinner to go to and had a meeting and more homework to attend to, but I had decided to give myself some time. Time to enjoy the beautiful weather, time to think, time to step back from all of my crazy. And as I did, it made me a little sad. I started thinking, why is it that I feel the need to fill up all of my time? Why do I have so many lists? Why do I always think about the future and cram, cram, cram... saying "one day I'll be able to breathe"-{direct quote from today}-  but that day never seems to come? 

I fill my day with commitments galore and try to busy myself, thinking I can only survive if I am busy, because one day I will be a grown up and not have to be busy. But what if I miss out on the here and now. Sure, Lord willing, great things have yet to come, but what if in the mean time, I don't invest in the people I'm with now, or don't experience the simple pleasure of still being a 'kid' as I'm still in college, not quite a grown up?

I'm tempted to sing the song from Peter Pan (I won't grow up...) or type out all the words, but I think you get my drift... I've been living in the fast lane so long, proclaiming my desire to stay young, but as I speed on, I think I've lost part of what I could have NOW. If you, like me, live life in the fast lane, I think you might be find you're able to seriously relate. I hope that makes sense. I'm trying to put to words my crazy thoughts. 

Back to the swing set though. Today, I felt free. I felt free for the first time in a long time. Free from everything. And my thoughts turned to God and to the freedom he offers through Christ and the freedom that comes in following the Spirit's urgings. And I can't help but smile and thank God for the (good) childish moments that he affords me. And I want to be able to experience that ALL THE TIME.

And as I was leaving the park, I saw a whole bunch of daddys/mommys out with their kiddos. Thinking about it now, it's so refreshing to know that My heavenly Daddy still likes to go to the park with me and likes to let me feel like a child again.

All of these musings to say, slow down. Stop letting busyness be your norm. What's the rush to grow up? Enjoy the here. Enjoy the now. 

I'm working on it, right alongside you.