Every year after school ends I have to wait for several weeks until camp starts. Now usually I try to fill the time with lots of things... like going to Guatemala... or babysitting for the best kiddos ever... or hanging out with people that I never get to see (unless I am home)... But it really gives me time to think. When I'm not sleeping or doing something to keep me busy, I have time to really think. I don't usually afford myself such luxuries when I am at school or at camp. I mean, yes, I think, but I don't always just get to think about the future, things to come... It's crazy to think that in one year I will be graduated from college. I will have my bachelors degree and finally be grown up (ish). However, as much as it excites me, it terrifies me as well because I love to plan and honestly I have no idea what I am doing after I graduate. So something I have been learning about is contentment... It seems that in life we are always waiting... Waiting on something, someone, a significant passage of time, a certain age, and the list goes on.
I think of the things that I am personally waiting on and the one thing I keep coming back to is God. Isaiah 40:31 reads, "But those who wait on God will renew their strength. They will mount up on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint." We are supposed to wait on God. We are SUPPOSED to put our hope in God and wait on Him to come through because He IS going to come through. He has proven it in His word. He has proven it in His Creation. He has proven it in my life and He has proven it in the lives of those around me. Our strength and direction are found in him and him alone... Not our plans... not our hopes, not our dreams, but GOD. But here is the thing... I feel like far too often God is waiting on us, waiting on us to turn to Him and hope in Him. I know at least for me I get too full of myself and forget God. I forget to hope in Him and I forget to put my stress aside or lay my worries on Him. And this is where problems occur. When we don't wait on God and impatiently run ahead trying to do our own thing, we get hurt and end up hurting others.
And so my themes for this summer are waiting and contentment.
I'm not exactly sure all that I am waiting for. I'm still not at the place where I can say I am content. There is a lot going on that I am not content with. I am a work in progress... I have a long way to go, but I have to say I am so glad that God has never given up on me, nor will He ever. I have hope in the One and Only constant in my life. Even when I am not hopeful, I know that God is waiting on me. My God is incredible.
Yesterday my status on facebook read, "that moment when you find yourself wishing you were already graduated because your heart is overseas, but you still have a year left of school... Lord help me to be content where I am for this coming year." I think that this status really describes where I am at right now and I don't know how to reconcile where I am with where I want to be and I have no idea where I am supposed to be next.
I think of the things that I am personally waiting on and the one thing I keep coming back to is God. Isaiah 40:31 reads, "But those who wait on God will renew their strength. They will mount up on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint." We are supposed to wait on God. We are SUPPOSED to put our hope in God and wait on Him to come through because He IS going to come through. He has proven it in His word. He has proven it in His Creation. He has proven it in my life and He has proven it in the lives of those around me. Our strength and direction are found in him and him alone... Not our plans... not our hopes, not our dreams, but GOD. But here is the thing... I feel like far too often God is waiting on us, waiting on us to turn to Him and hope in Him. I know at least for me I get too full of myself and forget God. I forget to hope in Him and I forget to put my stress aside or lay my worries on Him. And this is where problems occur. When we don't wait on God and impatiently run ahead trying to do our own thing, we get hurt and end up hurting others.
And so my themes for this summer are waiting and contentment.
I'm not exactly sure all that I am waiting for. I'm still not at the place where I can say I am content. There is a lot going on that I am not content with. I am a work in progress... I have a long way to go, but I have to say I am so glad that God has never given up on me, nor will He ever. I have hope in the One and Only constant in my life. Even when I am not hopeful, I know that God is waiting on me. My God is incredible.
Yesterday my status on facebook read, "that moment when you find yourself wishing you were already graduated because your heart is overseas, but you still have a year left of school... Lord help me to be content where I am for this coming year." I think that this status really describes where I am at right now and I don't know how to reconcile where I am with where I want to be and I have no idea where I am supposed to be next.
So for now, forever, I need to trust in God. As I go forward with this summer, I plan to list things I am thankful for each day; a list of at least 10 things everyday. I've heard that the more grateful we are for things or the more we acknowledge daily blessings, the more content we become with where we are. And my wish is that as I reflect on the things I am thankful for each day, I will grow more content with who I am as a child of God and where I am in the here and now, as well as content with where my future is leading.
Because of the 'awkward in-between time' I have time to think. I have time to write. I have time to spend with my friends that I never get to see during the year. I get to enjoy sleeping in. I get the privilege of babysitting wonderful children. I have time to experience being a child for a few weeks, instead of an independent adult. I get to go out to dinner with my mom. I get to lie around and watch Gilmore Girls. I get to read for fun. I get to spend time talking to God. I get to spend time reading my Bible and reflecting. I am so thankful for these blessings in my life today.
I encourage you to try making a list of things you are thankful. Play the thankful game with me each day. A friend of mine encouraged me to play this game a few years ago and it has changed my life ever since.
