21 Faces of Hope

I'm beginning to believe that there will never be a "normal" schedule here in Guatemala. I'm growing more and more convinced that the chief characteristic of a missionary ought to be flexibility.

On that note. I've been attending group therapy and planning activities for future group sessions. I was supposed to be leading an activity for groups this Friday, but I just found out there won't be any sessions, entonces, I'm saved for a few more weeks. But here is a glamorous photo from groups last week. Why we're in these outfits, I have yet to understand.

Also, last week, we had 21 of our girls get baptized! Seeing these girls and knowing what they've come through and how much they still hurt, it was truly an incredible experience seeing and hearing them say yes to following Jesus and giving their lives to him. There isn't a truer form of beauty than when Jesus is restoring and making you new. Each one of these 21 girls represents hope and healing. I see Jesus in each one of them and it astounds me.

Not only did we have 21 girls get baptized, but we got to enjoy a beautiful day at a gorgeous park. There were woods to explore, trees to climb, rivers to forge.... Even the head psychologist was in on the fun. I think we're going to have a good 15 months together. She's adventurous, dedicated, silly, and deeply loves each of the girls here. I think we just may get along wonderfully.

I also got to spend time with this beauty. I'm so proud of who she is becoming and her decision to get baptized. She encourages me daily and jokes with me and forces me to practice my Spanish... With incessant giggling. She has grown so much since two Mays ago when I was here visiting, but I love getting to know her now and see her flourishing and growing into a confident, happy, beautiful young woman.

In other exciting news, I finished language school, which is both exciting and sad at the same time. I loved getting to spend 4 hours a day with my teacher and force myself to learn more Spanish. BUT, I'm excited that now I can fully immerse myself in my job here. I can see the girls in the morning and I can get way more accomplished than is possible during language school. It's kind of sad not studying and laughing each day with my teacher, but seeing as we live close to each other we have decided to stay in contact. :)

For my homework, Monday, my last night of homework, Heissel asked me to write a description of my job at Oasis. Ultimately, my job will look like (more or less), helping out with the homeschooled girls when school starts back up in January, counseling 5 girls on my own, assisting and leading (at times) group therapy, researching better counseling techniques and ways to measure/chart growth, as well as just assist the psychologists in any way possible. Who knows what is really in store, but I'm excited. Seeing in writing all that is expected of me is both overwhelming, but exciting and I know that God has something in store through all this.

Also, Christmas is even bigger here than in the states and I've already been to a few Christmas parties and we have a big one at work today, as well as the giant Christmas eve party here. My parents are coming for the week of Christmas and we have some fun things planned and right after, two camp friends are coming to visit Jenny and I the first week in January.

There are lots of happenings here in Guatemala. Definitely never a dull moment. I was reading through my Jesus Storybook Bible recently and I came across this...

"Todo lo triste ya no lo es. Y vean yo he limpiado toda lágrima de todo ojo! Y entonces una voz profunda, hermosa, que sonaba como trueno, en el cielo dice: "Miren, yo hago nuevas todas las cosas.""

It's always been one of my favorite parts of the book because I think the author does such a good job paraphrasing Revelation. More or less, this part is talking about how when Jesus comes, all that was sad won't be anymore. God will wash away our tears and He is going to make all things new. Every time I think of this, I think of Oasis. I think of the ministry here, the tragic stories that each girl here has, and I think that a little bit of heaven has come to earth. The Spirit is transforming lives. Jesus is drying tears, God is calling his children to him. He's doing it here. And let me tell you, it is beautiful.

Feliz Día de Acción de Gracias

Feliz Día de Acción de Gracias. Happy Thanksgiving and holiday season from Guatemala! Can you believe that I have been here exactly one month now? I certainly cannot. This month has flown past, but it has been one of the best months of my life.

I have been learning so much. Between going to language school four hours every morning and having a one-on-one private tutor in Spanish and then spending anywhere from 4-6 hours at the Oasis each day of the week, I'm getting a little bit of Spanish overload. But it's so good. I can actually communicate now! Thank you, Jesus.

These are the three beautiful sisters that my family supports here in Guate. They are such a wonderful example of what little girls should look like when God is restoring them and making them new. Their story still gets me every time I hear it or think about it, but they are a prime example of why the Oasis ministry needs to be in existence. This picture was taken after I had been talking with them about my exam in language school. I told them that it had gone well. After a few more sentences in the conversation, one of the girls looked at me and said, "I can tell you're getting better and understanding us and able to talk with us better." Such sweet and encouraging words to my soul.

Even better, my homework for the day of Thanksgiving was to take pictures and show my teacher/tell her all about the feast that we had at the Oasis. Over 100 people were present and it was such a fun time. We didn't eat until about 4, but we had so much food and there was so much laughter and happiness. I got to play American Football with some of the girls and jump in the trampoline and just have fun being in their company. Also, some of my good friends from language school came to join in on the fun.

Though the day wasn't spent with the people I usually celebrate with, it was such a fun and encouraging day. I have so much to be grateful here in my little corner of the world. I even got to Skype home with Jenny, to a house full of family and friends!

Here are some pictures from the feast and some of the missionaries in attendance!

This week, I also got to attend my first set of group counseling sessions. The sessions weren't what I was expecting, but then again, they were doing perception tests. I got to help all of the girls and speak with them and talk to the counselor who was so excited to have someone else there. I look forward to when the sessions won't just be tests, but I'm excited that my job here is really beginning. And folks, I think I'm really going to enjoy it.

On top of all of the exciting things happening, I also drove to school three times this week (on my own!), had my first experience hanging out the door of the school bus on the way into Antigua via Camioneta, and went black friday (Black Weekend) shopping in Guatemala city with my sister and our other housemate. So much fun.

This was a fantastic week and I am so grateful for all that I got to experience. I think I'm starting to get used to life here in Guatemala and right now I am loving it. I am beyond grateful for the opportunity to live and work here. Thank you for participating in getting me this far, for rooting for me, for sitting on the side lines as I plunge in, and for supporting me.

"In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich." Dietrich Bonhoeffer

May you be filled with an over abundance of gratitude as we celebrate the holiday season. Both today and every day, we can find joy in the simple things, if only we remember to give thanks.

Poco a Poco (Little by Little)

If you're wondering, yes, this really is the beautiful place where I get to work every day. But even more beautiful than the scenery are the girls that live here and the staff that work here. 

Never in a million years did I think that I would be this lucky. 

Quick Recap: I am working at a home in Guatemala for girls who have been rescued out of abusive homes. There are over 50 girls currently living here and they live at this home, which is a safe house for them, free from the abuse they have been rescued from. They get to attend school, live in a house with about 7-10 other girls and two house moms, receive one-on-one counseling and group therapy, as well as experience the love of Christ through all of the fantastic Guatemalan workers, the Tias (house moms) and the missionaries who are full time. 

The girls are so helpful with the language learning and they aren't scared to correct my improper grammar, or suggest words for me when I can't think in Spanish anymore because I'm so tired. The Guatemalan staff are even more gracious than the girls and they are so patient with me. And luckily I have a lot of help from fluent missionaries as well.

Language school has been hard and draining, but FANTASTIC.

I also had my FIRST meeting with the psychologist I will be working with, as well as a long list of things to accomplish. You all know how much I love to do lists!!! (for real though, I do). I get to start attending counseling sessions this week! 

Everyday I take a bus just like this (this is one of my buses, by the way. I finally got a good picture!) to Antigua and then I walk ten blocks to my school. I have lessons for 4 hours and then I return home to San Lucas via camioneta (chicken bus). My teacher, Heisell, is the same age as me and we laugh a lot together.  Can you imagine that? Me? Laugh a lot? But it's so good. We only speak in Spanish, unless we are practicing vocab, in which case, we will both use English. She is so gracious with me and even though there is a language barrier, it is being broken down day by day and we can actually share life together.

Heisell had me memorize Psalm 23 in Spanish for my homework two weeks ago and then one day we just spent time talking about social justice. Let me tell you, to hear her talk with such passion and care about the poor, in Guatemala, it amazes me. I think we are a great match and I'm so grateful for all that she has taught me so far and I look forward to when we can communicate even better. Poco a Poco. Little by Little, my Spanish is getting better. Luckily no one expects me to be fluent, yet. Hah.

I also get to see my friends from the Center for Intercultural Training every day during language school! Three of the girls who were in my dorm at training attend school with me and we get to hangout during breaks, which is wonderful. I am so grateful for them and for their friendship. 

This past weekend, we held the Quincenara for 10 girls at the Oasis. We had a record breaking 10, fifteen year olds and the celebration was huge. So much planning went into the weekend and I got to be a part of the planning the week leading up to the celebration and then participate the day of.

I have loved getting to know the girls so far and I was thrilled to share in their special day. I can't wait to get to know them better during my time here. Let me remind you friends. God is indeed in the act of restoring what has been broken and transforming hearts and lives. These girls are living testimonies of that. Beauty out of ashes.

2 silly Quincenaras waiting to get dressed up and done up right ;)

My sister Jenny and I dressed up for the Quince

A really sassy, fantastic picture I got of the girls as they were getting ready for their professional photo. I think this one shows much better personality than the smiles ;)

Also, this week there was the first Keeping Families Together Retreat at the Oasis.  It was three days and my sister Jenny, ran this retreat and 10 girls who have left the Oasis to live with their families again, as the government deemed their families stable, but are still supported by Kids Alive. It was a great time of fun, crafts, games and devotionals. Something I love about the Oasis is that Jesus is all over it. Everything is centered around what God is doing and how he is transforming lives.

I spent one night with the girls and planned to drive into Antigua for school on Thursday, but I woke up super sick. I spend Thursday, Friday, most of Saturday and a lot of today on the couch or in bed, sleeping over 18 hours each day. Crazy, right? So, sadly I didn't get to spend as much time with the girls as I would have liked to and I didn't get to go to the birthday party for the little girl I sponsor, Saturday, and I missed two days of language school, but God has been showing off his graciousness and mercy.

I listened to a sermon today from back home, and I was reminded that Jesus is the God who weeps with us. He won't turn us away and He has unlimited time for us. It is so encouraging to see that lived out here in Guatemala. 

One last story. This goes back to my first week here in Guatemala. I was at the Oasis Wednesday night for devotional. We were singing the song Beautiful Things, by Gungor (in Spanish of course) and I just closed my eyes and listened to the girls in the room singing out at the top of their lungs to the God who is making them new and restoring them. 55 beautiful girls who have been abused, hurt, mocked, spit upon. Ages 5 -18. Proclaiming that God IS making them new. He IS making them beautiful. And then to see tears streaming down the faces of some of the girls as the words were so powerful to them. God is in the act of restoring broken things and making things new. And until the day that he dries every tear, His son, Jesus weeps with us and continually makes us new and beautiful.

May your week be one filled with love, joy and thanks as you celebrate Thanksgiving this Thursday. Thank you for your support and love for me as well as your prayers and encouragement. I plan to blog again this week and I promise it won't be this long.

Much love and appreciation. 

Bienvenidos a Guatemala

I have finally made it to Guatemala and I am loving it here. Today I am simply going to post a few pictures and describe them a little bit. I plan on writing more this weekend. Currently I cannot manage to muster up the energy to tell many stories. Language school drains a lot from me.

So this will have to do.

Anywho. The first two pictures, the panorama and then the photo of Jenny and I, were taken at Lake Atitlan. It is one of the most gorgeous places on earth. And we went on such a gorgeous day. There are three volcanoes on the lake, but in the panorama, you can only see two of them as one is straight behind the other. Last weekend, my first weekend here, Jenny had to go to the Lake to figure out some information regarding kayaking for a conference event that she is helping to plan. Of course I wanted to go along for the 2.5 hour windy ride each way. I'm so happy we went. We got to see a town on the lake (Santiago) which I have never been to before and we took a boat across, as well as just enjoyed the warmth. It was at least 20 degrees warmer than it was in San Lucas, my always cold new home.

Next you see a picture of a decked out school bus. While I myself did not take this photo, this is indeed one of my "trusty steeds" that brings me to school. At 7:25 every morning, I hop on a bus in San Lucas (where I am living) and head into Antigua. As long as all goes properly, I get off the bus around 7:50 and quick walk 10 blocks in Antigua to my school, arriving by 8:00am.

You would think I would be used to riding a school bus after 13 years of practice in the public school system. Please let me kindly correct you. Or if you already know what a chicken bus is, then you can just re-imagine for yourself what it is like. This painted bus is an old, retired school bus from the U.S. that has long since passed it's prime and definitely could not pass inspection in the states, yet 100 people OR MORE get on this bus with me every morning to go into Antigua. There are generally 7-10 people in a row that usually holds 4-6 elementary students and MAYBE one of those 7-10 people is a little person, if you're lucky. I promise I'm not exaggerating. I have counted!!!! The first morning I rode on the bus, I couldn't help but laugh to myself at the comedy unfolding before my eyes as person after person smushed through me and every turn and curve in the road sent me or the person next to me flying. And since I am a 5'8'' white female, I have the tendency to stand a head or two higher on the bus than everyone around me, when I'm not lucky enough to get to sit... so it's always entertaining for those around me to watch my reactions to situations on the bus.

I'm generally not a touchy feely person and the aroma (a mixture of air pollution (dust, gasoline, etc..) and sweat and sometimes animals or food) that fills the bus is enough to make you sick. I was petrified the first time I got on the bus, but after a week of riding it to and from school, I've become much more comfortable. It's definitely an experience, though can be very dangerous, as I hear of robberies almost daily and sometimes even murders, but the need to get to and from school outweighs the danger. God has had His angels watching over me and I have learned that the bus isn't something to fear. It's something to be smart about. It can also be kind of fun.

Below is a picture of my bedroom. It's a panorama from inside my closet... I just thought I'd include this and let you know I'm making myself at home. I'm starting to call this home too, so that's exciting. I have told several people in passing, "Oh, yes, I live in San Lucas." Later I think to myself, I REALLY AM LIVING IN SAN LUCAS! This isn't a dream anymore Heidi. This is reality for now.

I have many more pictures to come and stories about the girls and adventures I have been having in Guatemala, but this is enough for one night.

Buenas noches. Hasta Luego.

The Colors of Fall

I've missed the beauty of the Northeast in the fall. School in Ohio stole these views from me. I've missed the sound of crunching leaves under my feet and that satisfying feeling of seeing the leaves in big piles after raking them.

Life has been a whirlwind, the past week and a half after getting home from NC. I can hardly believe that in just one week, at this very time, I will be out of the country, beginning my time overseas. God has been so faithful! The waiting is almost over! But now that the time is coming close to leave, I am remembering all that I wish to accomplish. My to-do list seems to get longer with every new thing I check off. How is that even possible?

Over the past few days, I have gotten to hike in the Catskills with my mom and a dear family friend, as well as spend time with some good friends and I even got to go to camp for the day! I've also rested well, watched all the Harry Potter movies, read some books (for fun!) and got to spend time at church.

I am officially fully funded and I fly out of Albany at 5:55am on October 29th.

The adventure has only just begun. 

Please continue to pray for me as I prepare to leave!

Intercultural Training Take Away Points

Tonight is my final night in Union Mills, NC and it is a tad bit bittersweet. Today in class we had a "graduation" of sorts for those of us who were leaving this weekend. There are two more sessions to follow, of which many of our classmates are attending. Therefore, a few of us got to go forward and get our certificates of completion, shake all of the professors' hands and then engage in the typical conversations that always seem to follow graduations. Suddenly everyone is talking to you and wishing you luck and proclaiming the great times that have been had...

Who knew a month would go so quickly or that 34 adults and 20 children could mesh so incredibly well together? This community was great and the people here will definitely hold a special place in my heart. It's funny how quickly you can bond with people because you're all in the same place (so to speak). All of us are going overseas. We're doing countless different things, but we're all going and we all have things we're nervous about and excited about. And we're all striving towards a common purpose: to serve God and his people. Because of that, there is an understanding amongst us that a lot of people cannot grasp, since they don't have the same desires or plans.

There are also a lot of nicknames, lots of deep conversation (and not so deep) and above all, constant laughter :)

Nonetheless, I just wanted to jot down some take away points from this month. These are things I learned through classes, activities, the people here, you name it.

1. It's not right. It's not wrong. It's different. It may in fact be better.

2. Transitions lead to transformation.

3. Good intentions are often the monuments of destruction.

4. To accept others is to love God.

5. We do a terrible injustice when we only use words to portray the gospel.

6. God is still writing HIS story in all of the hurt and pain. There isn't a hurt that God won't use if we let him write the rest of the story.

7. The absence of trust is the basis of team dysfunction.

8. Breathe Grace.

9. Things are not always what they seem.

10. Shut up, so God can speak.

oh and 11. be sure to take time to enjoy WHO God is.


There you have it folks.

Guatemala Here I Come. (soon)

Training sessions have been underway for just over three weeks, here in itty bitty Union Mills, NC and I am learning so much. I have spent lots of time reflecting, but I have also been enjoying time with people from all walks of life who are headed out onto the missions field. It’s crazy how fast such a diverse group of people can bond. I find myself constantly in awe of how God works. I almost feel like I am a camper again. And fun fact: once again, I am the youngest adult in attendance. That theme never seems to leave me. 

I am planning on leaving October 29th!

I will be at home for the missions conference at LCC and I would love to sit down with you and talk about how God is leading me and how God is working in your life as well. I’m always up for getting coffee/tea, going for a walk, or just sitting and talking.

I am on the home stretch with support raising and I am in need of just a few more monthly partners, in order for all of this to come together. This is a team effort that I cannot do on my own. If 10 people commit to $25/month, I will be fully funded!! We’re so close! Not everyone can or should go overseas, but for those of you who are home, please consider giving or encouraging others to give. If you have already given, I cannot express how thankful I am and if you cannot give, then I cherish your well wishes and prayers. I know that God is working in this time. A reminder, you can donate online (paper free) at: https://secure.kidsalive.org/p-2821-heidi-johnson.aspx. 

Please join me in praying that I would trust God’s timing and be at peace as I wait for God to provide the remaining support that I need. Also, please continue praying for the team and girls in Guatemala. Attached is a daily prayer schedule. I have found that this is helpful in reminding me to pray for the ministry of Kids Alive in Guatemala and what God is doing all around the world.

Please join me on the adventure of a life time. 

30 Days of Prayer

As I prepare for and go to Guatemala, here is a list of prayer requests that I will be praying through each month. There is one request for each day to help make it easier and not get bogged down in all of the intricacies of the ministry I will be a part of. I have found this to be helpful and I so appreciate my sister for her help and guidance in the construction of this. If you would like to be praying with me, you can follow the days below. 

1. Missionaries: Pray for unity, safety and spiritual refreshment
2. House Moms: There are 11 house moms (2 in each of the 5 houses and one substitute). The house moms have the responsibility of caring for the 10 girls in their house as well as overseeing chores and house devotions
3. Kids Alive International: Home Office Staff and missionaries in other countries
4. Guatemalan Administrative Staff at the Oasis- Our bookkeeper, program coordinator,
   administrator, and logistics coordinator
5. Casa Ester: Offsite semi/independent living for older girls ages 18 and up. Currently there are 8 girls in this program. Pray that the girls would become more responsible and would have motivation/vision for their futures
6. Keeping Families Together: Our ministry that works with the families of girls who have left the Oasis to return home. We continue to provide support and therapy to the girls and their families so that they can provide a safe and healthy environment for their children
7. La Arquilla: Newest ministry at Oasis for pregnant girls who have become pregnant due to abuse. We currently have 5 girls and 4 babies in this program. Also pray for the house parents and nanny that work in this house
8. Psychologists and Social Workers at the Oasis  
9. Retreats/Spiritual Emphasis Times for the Girls
10. Town of San Lucas: Location of the Oasis. Pray for safety and spiritual awakening.
11. Ongoing Court Cases: Many of the girls are involved in ongoing criminal cases against their abusers. Pray for courage for the girls. Also, pray that the judges would have the wisdom and discernment that allows for justice to be done
12. Oasis Leadership Team: Our Director Corbey Dukes and his team
13. Unity among the girls in the houses
14. Girls at school and their teachers: Pray for diligence and patience
15. Wednesday Night Devotional Time: We are continuing to focus on the values of 2 Peter (faith, virtue, understanding, self-control, patience, godliness, brotherly kindness and love)
16. Safety, Protection and Health for the Oasis Girls and Staff
17. Short Term Missions Teams with Kids Alive
18. Home-School Education Program for Girls who are behind: Several girls are behind in school or have never been to school so we are trying to catch them up and provide them with extra help
19. Sponsors for the girls: The girls need sponsors to help provide for their food, clothing, schooling, doctors appointments, etc.
20. Financial Support for the Oasis
21. Girls’ Families and Visitors Day: The first Saturday of each month the girls have family and sponsors who visit them
22. Zapote: Kids Alive’s site in a village where there is a school and community program. Please pray for the two missionaries who will be going to Zapote to teach in a few months
23. Healthy Relationships and Friendships for the Girls
24. Spiritual Warfare: This is very real need. We need to be aware that we are fighting a spiritual battle. Satan doesn’t like the work that is going on in rescuing girls and introducing them to Christ. Pray against strongholds and the lies that Satan tries to plant in the lives of the missionaries and the girls
25. House Devotions: Each day the girls and house moms have a devotional time in the house
26. Special Events/Celebrations/Birthdays: For many of the girls it is at the Oasis that they receive their first gift and celebrate their birthday for the first time. Pray that the girls would feel loved through these celebrations and know how valuable they are to God
27. Healing of Physical, Mental, Emotional and Spiritual Scars for the Girls
28. Salvation for the Girls and their Families
29. Homework/Tutoring Time: Pray for motivation for the girls to do well and try their best as well as for those of us who are helping them
30. Openness to God’s work: Pray that the girls would be open to what God wants to do in their lives and that they would become strong women that God would use for his purposes

On being a missionary

I'm always amazed at how God works and I'm always shocked when he uses me in ways I never expected to be used. A few weeks ago I was asked to blog for the camp that I have attended, for what seems like forever, on how God has used camp to encourage me to become a missionary. I'm humbled that God would use me and use my writing to bring him glory as well. If you want to read more, follow this link:    http://cedarbrookadk.blogspot.com/2014/09/cca-and-beyond.html

My Way or the Highway?

What is truth? What is right and what is wrong? Does truth change based on the cultural context we find ourselves in or is truth absolute and divine?

How selfish and prideful I have been in assuming that my ideas and my constructs of truth are true. While I do believe I have begun to get a glimpse of God's truth, I am still completely human and completely fallible. I have so little knowledge and understanding, though I like to think I know a lot. 

At pre field training, we have been engaging in discussions of truth and epistemology and contextualization. These topics excite me. However they also deeply scare me because they remind me of my tendency to be completely self-centered in my thinking and responses. Okay, I'll admit, as a 21 year old, I have come to realize that I indeed do not know it all. ;) I have so far to go, though I have already come what I think is a long way. The more I learn, the more I realize how much I have to learn. The more people I meet and the deeper the conversations I have, the more I realize just how much I don't even have a grasp on, much less an understanding or knowledge.

These sorts of discussion and realizations often encourage deep thoughts in my little brain. Do I really believe that what I believe is really real? If so, shouldn't my life reflect those beliefs? And is it okay to revise those beliefs as I gain more knowledge and understanding?

I think revision of thought and belief is important or else the label of dogmatic might apply. 

Thus, I encourage you (and myself): keep thinking deep thoughts. Ask hard questions. Seek better understanding.

It's not right. It's not wrong. It's just different.

Greetings from the back hills of North Carolina. Currently, I am in this little tiny town that could probably (accurately) be described as the middle of nowhere. However, this setting allows for more intentional community and has become a place for growth. Attending pre-field training in North Carolina wasn't my idea, but I'm glad I'm here. After a full week of classes and lectures, I thought I would go ahead and share some of my ideas on one of the topics we have touched on (significantly) in class. My ideas are sloppy and kind of all over the place, but hey, we all process differently, right? 

Cultural Discussion take aways: 

Culture isn’t confined to one place, to one nation or to one set of standards. Wherever you are in the world, you are going to be affected by culture. However that plays out in countless ways. Our personal culture stems from the environment in which we were shaped, yet when we enter a new culture, our old culture comes with us. This can lead to tensions in our beliefs, our values and our thought processes. When we grow up believing something to be ‘right’ or something to be ‘wrong’, we are appalled when someone else does not agree with our view. You don’t even have to go overseas to notice this. Instead, if we go from country to city or suburbia to a more rural area and vice versa, we see different ‘norms’, different ways of living. Who do we think we are as Americans? Who do I think I am, as a white, middle class, female, from upstate New York? My ways and values are not the clearcut right and wrong ways of doing things. By what authority can I judge others who act, respond, or react differently than I would in a particular situation? When we view other cultures as lacking, weird, or less than the culture that we come from, we do a great injustice to that culture. I think it is easy to rationalize in our heads that we are doing things the right way, not only as Christians, but as Americans. It’s easy to rationalize that because we are doing what is right, then another must be doing wrong. If another culture is doing what is wrong, then they must be inherently evil and their way of life must be altered. Or so we think.

As I prepare to go to Guatemala, I know that there are cultural norms in America that I have considered right or good that may not be either of those things in Guatemala. I know at times I will have a hard time understanding or relating to the culture around me because I have been brought up in a completely different context. From language, to style of living, to clothing style and many other cultural distinctions, I will be immersing myself in a completely new world. Though I have been to Guatemala a few times already, it has only been short-term. I have an idea of what to expect, but until I get there, I will not know for sure. 

I’m all about affirming the culture that I am going into and learning how to adapt my current worldview, based off of my culture, to a worldview that encompasses both. Some things I do will have to change as I enter the country, and things will feel strange and different, and I know I will have to remind myself that it is okay. Different does not mean wrong and different doesn’t mean stupid or unimportant. Differences are good. Duane Elmer, in Cross-Cultural Connections, writes: “When we see the differences of others, we may well be seeing more of God. He cannot be contained in or explained from only one cultural perspective.” Amen. I cannot add anything more to that. Culture was made to be good, but because of the fall, it has become corrupt. Until God decides to reconcile those cultures or ultimately until Jesus comes again, every system is going to remain broken. We (Christians) are not the heroes here. We were not meant to be the ones who sweep in and act as savior. We have a Savior who is meant to do that and he is on the mission and in the process of restoring what has become broken. Because of this, culture is something that we should regard as important, worth saving and worth redeeming, as modeled by Jesus. In the redemption process, we are not the change agents. We are merely used by God to do good deeds. All of our cultures are broken. No culture is superior. Sure things might need to be adjusted in the cultures that we enter, but things need to be adjusted just as much in the culture that we have come from. It’s all about God’s timing though. Until the broken has been made whole, we must press on. We must view others as important and we must begin to view differences as something to embrace, rather than something to fear.

Not All Those Who Wander

As the hiking, nature-loving, tree hugger that I am, you can imagine just how much a gift like this pack would mean, especially since I am a big proponent of practicality. So, in recognition of my new pack, which obviously I'm completely excited about, I would like to just post a few quotes that remind me of travel and hiking and the life adventure that I'm about to embark on. I may post some of my own thoughts in regard to those quotes as well.

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." Ralph Waldo Emerson 

I promise you, I do abide by the leave-no-trace principles and encourage others to do the same, but I don't think Emerson was discussing a physical trail. I think instead this quote, in a sense of urgency, demands that we leave a legacy, that we do something different and try new things and impact people as we go (hopefully in a positive way).

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."

I can't wait.

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." Robert Frost

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view- until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." To Kill a Mockingbird

"Not all those who wander are lost." J.R.R. Tolkien

"When we see the differences of others, we may well be seeing more of God. He cannot be contained in or explained from only one cultural perspective."

All I can say is, it's time. It's time for me to go. It's time for me to see. This time next week, I'll be immersing myself into the culture of western North Carolina, attending pre field training for Guatemala. I can't wait to go. I can't wait to explore somewhere new. I can't wait to meet new people who are doing similar things to me and feel as I do about missions. I can't wait to learn what God has in store for me there. And most of all, I look forward to joining in on what God is already accomplishing around the world.

Thank you for being a part of this journey of life with me.

I am beyond blessed to be living it.

Moving Right Along

GREETINGS!

It has been a little while since I last sent out a newsletter and quite a lot has happened since then. On May 3, I graduated from Cedarville with a B.A. in Psychology. My sister Julie, her husband Aaron, and my parents were all able to come out to Ohio for the event and we celebrated by going to a Cincinnati Reds game with many of my friends. I also got to bring my family to church with me after graduation and  my pastor and the church body prayed over me, as a way of sending me off into the world.

Since arriving home, I joined an IJM (International Justice Mission)  prayer group at Loudonville Community Church and began attending a new Sunday school class called Transformational School of Urban Ministry. I am working with Kids Church on Sundays and I am also helping to plan VBS at church this summer. We are expecting close to 300 kids!!

As a way of earning some income, I began working at the Comfort Inn & Suites. I accepted a position as a front desk receptionist and I am working just short of full time, with a bit of a confusing schedule, but it’s going well so far. I have been working  there about a month and it is still taking some getting used to. I desperately miss the outdoors and the mountains that I usually spend my summers in.

While I have been working a lot, I have also gotten to have a lot of fun. I went skydiving to celebrate graduating and got to spend a few extra days in Ohio, with my adopted Ohio family. I visited Kayleigh for a few days on my way home from college and got to celebrate her birthday with her this past weekend. I have also gotten to go up to camp for a few days over the last month to help set up and lifeguard. It still breaks my heart that I won’t be there this summer, but I know that God has something else in store, though I’m still waiting on what that is exactly. 

I have a lot more to do this summer, as I prepare for Guatemala and work/volunteer, but I have some exciting things ahead as well; this weekend (June 28-29), I am going up to camp again, in July, Jenny is coming home and our family is going to Rhode Island! In August, we are having a Zumba-thon to raise money for Guatemala and a few friends from Ohio will be here to visit!

Nonetheless, in all of the excitement, I am still working on raising support so that I can go to Guatemala in the early fall. I have just over 30% of my needed support and I am looking for people who would like to come along side me and support me, financially, either one-time or monthly. Please see this as an opportunity to give to a worthy cause. By giving, you are confirming that you believe in what Kids Alive is doing, that you share my heart for ministry, and that you believe that working with the marginalized  children in Guatemala is worthwhile. I really hope to be able to go to Guatemala in the early fall, and you have the chance to partner in fulfilling God’s desire in my life. You can even donate online at:

https://secure.kidsalive.org/p-2821-heidi-johnson.aspx 

For those of you who have already given money or pledged to support me monthly, I cannot begin to express my gratefulness.  God has certainly been blessing me, through you. I greatly appreciate the prayers of those of you who have been praying for me. Over the next few months, I ask that you continue praying. Please join me in praying that:

• Monthly supporters will rise up and pledge to give
• I would enjoy this in-between time at home and find the  blessings in it, as well as time to relax
• That God would continue to prepare me for what I am going to be doing in Guatemala
• The Kids Alive team in Guatemala; that they would remain strong and that they would continue to fight against the injustice that is happening in the country

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I appreciate it :) Love you all. 

No More Camp (and other thoughts)

So real quick, in case you didn't know; I am not working at Camp Cedarbrook this summer and yes, I will be in the country, in fact I will be less than an hour and a half away. 

The summer doesn't even start, officially, until late June, but I'm already devastated by my decision (or well God's nudge) to not work at camp this summer. I remember at the end of last summer when I knew God was telling me that it was the last full summer I would get to spend home, at Camp Cedarbrook, for at least a while. I told several people and they just assumed it was a joke or thought hey, she'll probably just be out of the country... But both of those are false and I'm not going to be counseling. I'm not even going to be working at camp. It's not like I got bumped into a higher position or asked to not return, rather I am going to be at my parents' house in East Greenbush, while terribly missing camp.

As I was up there this weekend, doing task after task for the work weekend, I was reminded of how much the crazy amount of work drives me. It's comical, really... how doing a tremendous amount of thankless labor can make you miss a place even more... I never realized it before, but the work that I have put in over the years has definitely fueled the attachment I have to camp. But as I was driving down the camp road, on my way back to civilization, I tried to collect my thoughts into cohesive sentences. I desperately wanted to convey my feelings on leaving camp, on hard goodbyes, on endings. Why? Maybe it's for me, but maybe you can relate as well.

I put a CD in and it happened to be a CD that one of my best friends in high school gave me before I went to Ohio, to attend Cedarville. The opening song is by Green Day. It's called, Good Riddance. The lyrics begin;

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road - time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go. So make the best of this time and don't ask why. It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time. It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right, I hope you had the time of your life.

Those haunting words. They got me back in high school. They got me now.

This song perfectly describes where I am now. The lyrics helped me collect a few thoughts. I don't know what this summer looks like. I don't know why I'm not going to be at camp, or well I'm beginning to learn, but not fully. I don't want to do something hard (and leave camp). For once I don't want to be unpredictable... I already miss the smell of moth balls. I am going to miss the way that campers react when I tell them that they should use the Palace, because it is the greatest bathroom at camp (it's a jankity outhouse, if you're curious). I am going to miss the ability to call a cabin my home. I miss my roughly 12'' x 12'' x 12'' cubby where all my 'important things' hide. I miss the obnoxious singing at the dining hall tables, that I always encourage, if I'm not already the most wild one in the room. I am going to miss being able to go sailing, or swimming or have fires, whenever. I am going to miss the stinky horses and wandering dogs (and I don't even like animals). I'll even miss the tasks that I always manage to get myself assigned to and those stupid pocket knife activities...

I will miss being in the woods. ALL THE TIME. Even finding a spider or frog or worse yet a mouse nest...will be missed.

I ALREADY miss and I know it will get worse as the summer looms closer, the incredible staff that I have worked alongside for some of or all of the last 4 summers and the staff who watched me grow up since I was two years old... The people who have stuck alongside me through every weird stage of my life (I say weird because I don't think I ever grew out of the weird stage that everyone is supposed to go through at some point - usually middle school)... The friends who I have loved and grown incredibly close to and learned so much from.... the older staff members and my previous counselors who have poured into my life and been incredible role models and loved me with an uncanny amount of love... the people who were representatives of Jesus to me.

But more than anything. I am going to miss the campers. They're why I have worked at camp. They're it for me. It's all about them. I feel nauseous every time I think about not being there. I know they don't need me. Obviously. I don't even know if they realize how hard it is for me to leave camp and that it's BECAUSE OF THEM THAT IT'S SO HARD. Those 6 or so days worth of relationship, of sharing meals, of doing Bible study and cooking dinner over a fire and just being crazy with... The weeks that I have been a counselor at Camp Cedarbrook have been the best (while at times, worst) weeks of my life. I wouldn't, I couldn't trade them for anything.

Camp Cedarbrook is a place to encounter God and to be filled with His Spirit, empowered to grow and thrive, while in the community of believers. It was at camp that I had counselors and friends who first challenged me in my faith and continue to do so. They fought/fight the devil's battles against me. They stood/stand by me. They loved/love me. They served/serve me. They were/are Jesus to me. And that is what I hope, more than anything, is remembered of me... in the 19 summers that I was present (for at least some small portion) at Camp Cedarbrook. I hope that when the campers and staff discuss their past counselors or talk about staff who aren't there or whatever the topic may be, I hope that when the name Cambri, Toyota, or Heidi Johnson is mentioned, it isn't to remark how crazy, how weird, how wonderful/horrible of a counselor/person/worker she was, and the list goes on of descriptors... Rather, my desire is that I would leave a legacy of loving like Jesus. No matter what.

And I hope and pray that at least one camper or one staff member would catch on to that. That they would realize that in spite of my flaws, my humanity... I strove and strive to be Jesus to them. If even one person came to a better understanding of God's love for them, through Christ, as a result of my time at camp, then it was not in vain. And it won't bother me then, if I am remembered or forgotten, because the reason that I worked at camp is so that Christ would be known and that God's love would be expressed. My true desire is that Jesus' name would be the one proclaimed and that any good that I accomplished would be recognized as the Spirit's empowerment. You see, the biggest part of camp for me, bigger than even the campers themselves, is that Christ be glorified.

Camp will always be a part of me. A HUGE part of me. And while I'm not totally removed, I'm going to be removed enough to feel the pain of saying goodbye. And it kills me. But I must admit, that while this may be goodbye for now, I certainly have had the "time of my life."

There you have it folks. If you made it to the end of this post, then you are a champion yourself. Thank you. If you have any magical cure for the Camp Cedarbrook blues, please, do fill me in.

More on Guate

As many of you know, I have had the privilege of going to Guatemala twice over the past two years. The first time I went was to visit my sister, who is a missionary with Kids Alive International. I didn’t expect to fall in love with the people or the girls’ home the way that I did in my first week there. A year later, this past May, I had the opportunity to go back to Guatemala, on a mission trip of sorts, for ten days. While I was there, I realized that I was not content with only making brief visits, so after talking with the head of the girls’ home, I applied to be a missionary with KAI. 

I am beyond excited to inform you that I have been accepted to go back to Guatemala for 15 months as a short-term missionary, serving at the same girls’ home where my sister Jenny serves!

I will be graduating in May from Cedarville University with my bachelor’s degree in Psychology. It’s crazy to think of how fast the time has gone. I feel like I just started school, but God has been shaping me and molding me for this time in Guatemala for quite some time. Since I was little I have wanted to live overseas, serve the marginalized, and love those who needed to be loved-care for those who didn’t have someone else to care for them. My dreams are actually becoming a reality! While in Guatemala, I will be working at a home for girls who have been rescued from abusive homes and placed in a home (the Oasis) where they are safe, provided for, loved, counseled and rehabilitated. The home provides for girls (currently 50 of them) ages 4-18 and I will be working with the three psychologists on base, in an internship of sorts. All of the work I have done in undergrad will come into play during this time. The ultimate goal is to be able to distribute written copies of what the Guatemalan psychologists are doing to Kids Alive bases around the world. I will get to write up what it is exactly that the psychologists do when the girls first arrive, and the techniques used throughout their stay at the Oasis to help them heal and recover from trauma. I will also get to:

• Sit in on counseling sessions 
• Assist in test administration 
• Assist in the discipleship ministry
• Work with the new home for young pregnant girls
• Help with the “Keeping Families Together” program
• Work with the social worker on base 

I just finished my internship with a school psychologist and I believe that it prepared me well for what I am going to be doing next year, in combination with all of my other past experiences as well! This is just be the beginning. Letters are in the process of being sent out, right now, so that you can learn how to become a partner with me, either prayerfully, financially, or both :) 

eNdInGs

Today marked the end of my internship as a school psychologist. I didn't expect to fall in love with the school I was working at, the staff that I shadowed or the children I worked with. All I knew was that I was going to be working at a school. Nonetheless, at the end of my day today, I got into my car and just sat there. I put a CD into the player and go figure, it was the CD that I had gotten from one of my best friends after we graduated high school. The first song that came on was Good Riddance by Green Day. You can imagine my thoughts. {If you don't know the song, then please go to YouTube and listen. Now is the time to experience such a song.} 

However, thoughts stirred through my head. Why are goodbyes so hard? 
Why do we try to prevent ourselves from becoming attached? Shouldn't it be the case that we give everything we have and learn as much as we can? Goodbyes, I think, should be hard, because that means the time was meaningful, the relationship was meaningful... so on and so forth. 

I can't help but think of the implications this will have when I leave Ohio in just over a month and begin a new chapter in my life... Every part of me screams not to think about it.... 


But if you don't say goodbye, you can't say hello again, right?  


Sorry. These are my frustrations. And I'm afraid goodbyes will always be a weakness of mine, but life is filled with Hellos and Goodbyes, Beginnings and Endings. Maybe it's just me, but I'm not sure if any of those really matter though. It's more of what happens in the middle and how the middle is treated... 

So how are you living out your 'middle'? Are you living in a way that will make saying goodbye hard (in a good way)? 

Growing Up

So today, after my internship, I went to one of my favorite places near school (Yellow Springs) and spent the last few hours of sunshine hanging out, doing homework and just thinking. If you know me, I have a lot of thoughts, some of them I share, but I generally keep a lot more of them to myself. Anyway, I went to a new coffeeshop (I say new, because it's the first time I strayed away from Dino's on my own) and it was wonderful. The atmosphere was great and I got an assignment done and drank incredible coffee. After, I went outside and walked around the town and went to the playground. Since it was almost 70 degrees outside, you can imagine the number of people outside. If you cannot imagine it, or if you have never been to Yellow Springs, the town was SWARMING. That's besides the point though. Back to my story. I went to the playground and found the swingset completely open, so of course, I ran over and began to swing and as I did a million thoughts came to mind. I'm going to share a few of them with you. 

As this post is entitled "Growing Up" you can probably guess the direction that I'm going. Now I should probably also mention that I had a little too much caffeine today and my mind was on hyperspeed, but I digress. My life has always been one of constant busyness... even today, I went to class, ran all over campus to deal with a car registration issue, went to internship, had a birthday dinner to go to and had a meeting and more homework to attend to, but I had decided to give myself some time. Time to enjoy the beautiful weather, time to think, time to step back from all of my crazy. And as I did, it made me a little sad. I started thinking, why is it that I feel the need to fill up all of my time? Why do I have so many lists? Why do I always think about the future and cram, cram, cram... saying "one day I'll be able to breathe"-{direct quote from today}-  but that day never seems to come? 

I fill my day with commitments galore and try to busy myself, thinking I can only survive if I am busy, because one day I will be a grown up and not have to be busy. But what if I miss out on the here and now. Sure, Lord willing, great things have yet to come, but what if in the mean time, I don't invest in the people I'm with now, or don't experience the simple pleasure of still being a 'kid' as I'm still in college, not quite a grown up?

I'm tempted to sing the song from Peter Pan (I won't grow up...) or type out all the words, but I think you get my drift... I've been living in the fast lane so long, proclaiming my desire to stay young, but as I speed on, I think I've lost part of what I could have NOW. If you, like me, live life in the fast lane, I think you might be find you're able to seriously relate. I hope that makes sense. I'm trying to put to words my crazy thoughts. 

Back to the swing set though. Today, I felt free. I felt free for the first time in a long time. Free from everything. And my thoughts turned to God and to the freedom he offers through Christ and the freedom that comes in following the Spirit's urgings. And I can't help but smile and thank God for the (good) childish moments that he affords me. And I want to be able to experience that ALL THE TIME.

And as I was leaving the park, I saw a whole bunch of daddys/mommys out with their kiddos. Thinking about it now, it's so refreshing to know that My heavenly Daddy still likes to go to the park with me and likes to let me feel like a child again.

All of these musings to say, slow down. Stop letting busyness be your norm. What's the rush to grow up? Enjoy the here. Enjoy the now. 

I'm working on it, right alongside you.