On being a missionary

I'm always amazed at how God works and I'm always shocked when he uses me in ways I never expected to be used. A few weeks ago I was asked to blog for the camp that I have attended, for what seems like forever, on how God has used camp to encourage me to become a missionary. I'm humbled that God would use me and use my writing to bring him glory as well. If you want to read more, follow this link:    http://cedarbrookadk.blogspot.com/2014/09/cca-and-beyond.html

My Way or the Highway?

What is truth? What is right and what is wrong? Does truth change based on the cultural context we find ourselves in or is truth absolute and divine?

How selfish and prideful I have been in assuming that my ideas and my constructs of truth are true. While I do believe I have begun to get a glimpse of God's truth, I am still completely human and completely fallible. I have so little knowledge and understanding, though I like to think I know a lot. 

At pre field training, we have been engaging in discussions of truth and epistemology and contextualization. These topics excite me. However they also deeply scare me because they remind me of my tendency to be completely self-centered in my thinking and responses. Okay, I'll admit, as a 21 year old, I have come to realize that I indeed do not know it all. ;) I have so far to go, though I have already come what I think is a long way. The more I learn, the more I realize how much I have to learn. The more people I meet and the deeper the conversations I have, the more I realize just how much I don't even have a grasp on, much less an understanding or knowledge.

These sorts of discussion and realizations often encourage deep thoughts in my little brain. Do I really believe that what I believe is really real? If so, shouldn't my life reflect those beliefs? And is it okay to revise those beliefs as I gain more knowledge and understanding?

I think revision of thought and belief is important or else the label of dogmatic might apply. 

Thus, I encourage you (and myself): keep thinking deep thoughts. Ask hard questions. Seek better understanding.

It's not right. It's not wrong. It's just different.

Greetings from the back hills of North Carolina. Currently, I am in this little tiny town that could probably (accurately) be described as the middle of nowhere. However, this setting allows for more intentional community and has become a place for growth. Attending pre-field training in North Carolina wasn't my idea, but I'm glad I'm here. After a full week of classes and lectures, I thought I would go ahead and share some of my ideas on one of the topics we have touched on (significantly) in class. My ideas are sloppy and kind of all over the place, but hey, we all process differently, right? 

Cultural Discussion take aways: 

Culture isn’t confined to one place, to one nation or to one set of standards. Wherever you are in the world, you are going to be affected by culture. However that plays out in countless ways. Our personal culture stems from the environment in which we were shaped, yet when we enter a new culture, our old culture comes with us. This can lead to tensions in our beliefs, our values and our thought processes. When we grow up believing something to be ‘right’ or something to be ‘wrong’, we are appalled when someone else does not agree with our view. You don’t even have to go overseas to notice this. Instead, if we go from country to city or suburbia to a more rural area and vice versa, we see different ‘norms’, different ways of living. Who do we think we are as Americans? Who do I think I am, as a white, middle class, female, from upstate New York? My ways and values are not the clearcut right and wrong ways of doing things. By what authority can I judge others who act, respond, or react differently than I would in a particular situation? When we view other cultures as lacking, weird, or less than the culture that we come from, we do a great injustice to that culture. I think it is easy to rationalize in our heads that we are doing things the right way, not only as Christians, but as Americans. It’s easy to rationalize that because we are doing what is right, then another must be doing wrong. If another culture is doing what is wrong, then they must be inherently evil and their way of life must be altered. Or so we think.

As I prepare to go to Guatemala, I know that there are cultural norms in America that I have considered right or good that may not be either of those things in Guatemala. I know at times I will have a hard time understanding or relating to the culture around me because I have been brought up in a completely different context. From language, to style of living, to clothing style and many other cultural distinctions, I will be immersing myself in a completely new world. Though I have been to Guatemala a few times already, it has only been short-term. I have an idea of what to expect, but until I get there, I will not know for sure. 

I’m all about affirming the culture that I am going into and learning how to adapt my current worldview, based off of my culture, to a worldview that encompasses both. Some things I do will have to change as I enter the country, and things will feel strange and different, and I know I will have to remind myself that it is okay. Different does not mean wrong and different doesn’t mean stupid or unimportant. Differences are good. Duane Elmer, in Cross-Cultural Connections, writes: “When we see the differences of others, we may well be seeing more of God. He cannot be contained in or explained from only one cultural perspective.” Amen. I cannot add anything more to that. Culture was made to be good, but because of the fall, it has become corrupt. Until God decides to reconcile those cultures or ultimately until Jesus comes again, every system is going to remain broken. We (Christians) are not the heroes here. We were not meant to be the ones who sweep in and act as savior. We have a Savior who is meant to do that and he is on the mission and in the process of restoring what has become broken. Because of this, culture is something that we should regard as important, worth saving and worth redeeming, as modeled by Jesus. In the redemption process, we are not the change agents. We are merely used by God to do good deeds. All of our cultures are broken. No culture is superior. Sure things might need to be adjusted in the cultures that we enter, but things need to be adjusted just as much in the culture that we have come from. It’s all about God’s timing though. Until the broken has been made whole, we must press on. We must view others as important and we must begin to view differences as something to embrace, rather than something to fear.

Not All Those Who Wander

As the hiking, nature-loving, tree hugger that I am, you can imagine just how much a gift like this pack would mean, especially since I am a big proponent of practicality. So, in recognition of my new pack, which obviously I'm completely excited about, I would like to just post a few quotes that remind me of travel and hiking and the life adventure that I'm about to embark on. I may post some of my own thoughts in regard to those quotes as well.

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." Ralph Waldo Emerson 

I promise you, I do abide by the leave-no-trace principles and encourage others to do the same, but I don't think Emerson was discussing a physical trail. I think instead this quote, in a sense of urgency, demands that we leave a legacy, that we do something different and try new things and impact people as we go (hopefully in a positive way).

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."

I can't wait.

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." Robert Frost

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view- until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." To Kill a Mockingbird

"Not all those who wander are lost." J.R.R. Tolkien

"When we see the differences of others, we may well be seeing more of God. He cannot be contained in or explained from only one cultural perspective."

All I can say is, it's time. It's time for me to go. It's time for me to see. This time next week, I'll be immersing myself into the culture of western North Carolina, attending pre field training for Guatemala. I can't wait to go. I can't wait to explore somewhere new. I can't wait to meet new people who are doing similar things to me and feel as I do about missions. I can't wait to learn what God has in store for me there. And most of all, I look forward to joining in on what God is already accomplishing around the world.

Thank you for being a part of this journey of life with me.

I am beyond blessed to be living it.

Moving Right Along

GREETINGS!

It has been a little while since I last sent out a newsletter and quite a lot has happened since then. On May 3, I graduated from Cedarville with a B.A. in Psychology. My sister Julie, her husband Aaron, and my parents were all able to come out to Ohio for the event and we celebrated by going to a Cincinnati Reds game with many of my friends. I also got to bring my family to church with me after graduation and  my pastor and the church body prayed over me, as a way of sending me off into the world.

Since arriving home, I joined an IJM (International Justice Mission)  prayer group at Loudonville Community Church and began attending a new Sunday school class called Transformational School of Urban Ministry. I am working with Kids Church on Sundays and I am also helping to plan VBS at church this summer. We are expecting close to 300 kids!!

As a way of earning some income, I began working at the Comfort Inn & Suites. I accepted a position as a front desk receptionist and I am working just short of full time, with a bit of a confusing schedule, but it’s going well so far. I have been working  there about a month and it is still taking some getting used to. I desperately miss the outdoors and the mountains that I usually spend my summers in.

While I have been working a lot, I have also gotten to have a lot of fun. I went skydiving to celebrate graduating and got to spend a few extra days in Ohio, with my adopted Ohio family. I visited Kayleigh for a few days on my way home from college and got to celebrate her birthday with her this past weekend. I have also gotten to go up to camp for a few days over the last month to help set up and lifeguard. It still breaks my heart that I won’t be there this summer, but I know that God has something else in store, though I’m still waiting on what that is exactly. 

I have a lot more to do this summer, as I prepare for Guatemala and work/volunteer, but I have some exciting things ahead as well; this weekend (June 28-29), I am going up to camp again, in July, Jenny is coming home and our family is going to Rhode Island! In August, we are having a Zumba-thon to raise money for Guatemala and a few friends from Ohio will be here to visit!

Nonetheless, in all of the excitement, I am still working on raising support so that I can go to Guatemala in the early fall. I have just over 30% of my needed support and I am looking for people who would like to come along side me and support me, financially, either one-time or monthly. Please see this as an opportunity to give to a worthy cause. By giving, you are confirming that you believe in what Kids Alive is doing, that you share my heart for ministry, and that you believe that working with the marginalized  children in Guatemala is worthwhile. I really hope to be able to go to Guatemala in the early fall, and you have the chance to partner in fulfilling God’s desire in my life. You can even donate online at:

https://secure.kidsalive.org/p-2821-heidi-johnson.aspx 

For those of you who have already given money or pledged to support me monthly, I cannot begin to express my gratefulness.  God has certainly been blessing me, through you. I greatly appreciate the prayers of those of you who have been praying for me. Over the next few months, I ask that you continue praying. Please join me in praying that:

• Monthly supporters will rise up and pledge to give
• I would enjoy this in-between time at home and find the  blessings in it, as well as time to relax
• That God would continue to prepare me for what I am going to be doing in Guatemala
• The Kids Alive team in Guatemala; that they would remain strong and that they would continue to fight against the injustice that is happening in the country

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I appreciate it :) Love you all. 

No More Camp (and other thoughts)

So real quick, in case you didn't know; I am not working at Camp Cedarbrook this summer and yes, I will be in the country, in fact I will be less than an hour and a half away. 

The summer doesn't even start, officially, until late June, but I'm already devastated by my decision (or well God's nudge) to not work at camp this summer. I remember at the end of last summer when I knew God was telling me that it was the last full summer I would get to spend home, at Camp Cedarbrook, for at least a while. I told several people and they just assumed it was a joke or thought hey, she'll probably just be out of the country... But both of those are false and I'm not going to be counseling. I'm not even going to be working at camp. It's not like I got bumped into a higher position or asked to not return, rather I am going to be at my parents' house in East Greenbush, while terribly missing camp.

As I was up there this weekend, doing task after task for the work weekend, I was reminded of how much the crazy amount of work drives me. It's comical, really... how doing a tremendous amount of thankless labor can make you miss a place even more... I never realized it before, but the work that I have put in over the years has definitely fueled the attachment I have to camp. But as I was driving down the camp road, on my way back to civilization, I tried to collect my thoughts into cohesive sentences. I desperately wanted to convey my feelings on leaving camp, on hard goodbyes, on endings. Why? Maybe it's for me, but maybe you can relate as well.

I put a CD in and it happened to be a CD that one of my best friends in high school gave me before I went to Ohio, to attend Cedarville. The opening song is by Green Day. It's called, Good Riddance. The lyrics begin;

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road - time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go. So make the best of this time and don't ask why. It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time. It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right, I hope you had the time of your life.

Those haunting words. They got me back in high school. They got me now.

This song perfectly describes where I am now. The lyrics helped me collect a few thoughts. I don't know what this summer looks like. I don't know why I'm not going to be at camp, or well I'm beginning to learn, but not fully. I don't want to do something hard (and leave camp). For once I don't want to be unpredictable... I already miss the smell of moth balls. I am going to miss the way that campers react when I tell them that they should use the Palace, because it is the greatest bathroom at camp (it's a jankity outhouse, if you're curious). I am going to miss the ability to call a cabin my home. I miss my roughly 12'' x 12'' x 12'' cubby where all my 'important things' hide. I miss the obnoxious singing at the dining hall tables, that I always encourage, if I'm not already the most wild one in the room. I am going to miss being able to go sailing, or swimming or have fires, whenever. I am going to miss the stinky horses and wandering dogs (and I don't even like animals). I'll even miss the tasks that I always manage to get myself assigned to and those stupid pocket knife activities...

I will miss being in the woods. ALL THE TIME. Even finding a spider or frog or worse yet a mouse nest...will be missed.

I ALREADY miss and I know it will get worse as the summer looms closer, the incredible staff that I have worked alongside for some of or all of the last 4 summers and the staff who watched me grow up since I was two years old... The people who have stuck alongside me through every weird stage of my life (I say weird because I don't think I ever grew out of the weird stage that everyone is supposed to go through at some point - usually middle school)... The friends who I have loved and grown incredibly close to and learned so much from.... the older staff members and my previous counselors who have poured into my life and been incredible role models and loved me with an uncanny amount of love... the people who were representatives of Jesus to me.

But more than anything. I am going to miss the campers. They're why I have worked at camp. They're it for me. It's all about them. I feel nauseous every time I think about not being there. I know they don't need me. Obviously. I don't even know if they realize how hard it is for me to leave camp and that it's BECAUSE OF THEM THAT IT'S SO HARD. Those 6 or so days worth of relationship, of sharing meals, of doing Bible study and cooking dinner over a fire and just being crazy with... The weeks that I have been a counselor at Camp Cedarbrook have been the best (while at times, worst) weeks of my life. I wouldn't, I couldn't trade them for anything.

Camp Cedarbrook is a place to encounter God and to be filled with His Spirit, empowered to grow and thrive, while in the community of believers. It was at camp that I had counselors and friends who first challenged me in my faith and continue to do so. They fought/fight the devil's battles against me. They stood/stand by me. They loved/love me. They served/serve me. They were/are Jesus to me. And that is what I hope, more than anything, is remembered of me... in the 19 summers that I was present (for at least some small portion) at Camp Cedarbrook. I hope that when the campers and staff discuss their past counselors or talk about staff who aren't there or whatever the topic may be, I hope that when the name Cambri, Toyota, or Heidi Johnson is mentioned, it isn't to remark how crazy, how weird, how wonderful/horrible of a counselor/person/worker she was, and the list goes on of descriptors... Rather, my desire is that I would leave a legacy of loving like Jesus. No matter what.

And I hope and pray that at least one camper or one staff member would catch on to that. That they would realize that in spite of my flaws, my humanity... I strove and strive to be Jesus to them. If even one person came to a better understanding of God's love for them, through Christ, as a result of my time at camp, then it was not in vain. And it won't bother me then, if I am remembered or forgotten, because the reason that I worked at camp is so that Christ would be known and that God's love would be expressed. My true desire is that Jesus' name would be the one proclaimed and that any good that I accomplished would be recognized as the Spirit's empowerment. You see, the biggest part of camp for me, bigger than even the campers themselves, is that Christ be glorified.

Camp will always be a part of me. A HUGE part of me. And while I'm not totally removed, I'm going to be removed enough to feel the pain of saying goodbye. And it kills me. But I must admit, that while this may be goodbye for now, I certainly have had the "time of my life."

There you have it folks. If you made it to the end of this post, then you are a champion yourself. Thank you. If you have any magical cure for the Camp Cedarbrook blues, please, do fill me in.

More on Guate

As many of you know, I have had the privilege of going to Guatemala twice over the past two years. The first time I went was to visit my sister, who is a missionary with Kids Alive International. I didn’t expect to fall in love with the people or the girls’ home the way that I did in my first week there. A year later, this past May, I had the opportunity to go back to Guatemala, on a mission trip of sorts, for ten days. While I was there, I realized that I was not content with only making brief visits, so after talking with the head of the girls’ home, I applied to be a missionary with KAI. 

I am beyond excited to inform you that I have been accepted to go back to Guatemala for 15 months as a short-term missionary, serving at the same girls’ home where my sister Jenny serves!

I will be graduating in May from Cedarville University with my bachelor’s degree in Psychology. It’s crazy to think of how fast the time has gone. I feel like I just started school, but God has been shaping me and molding me for this time in Guatemala for quite some time. Since I was little I have wanted to live overseas, serve the marginalized, and love those who needed to be loved-care for those who didn’t have someone else to care for them. My dreams are actually becoming a reality! While in Guatemala, I will be working at a home for girls who have been rescued from abusive homes and placed in a home (the Oasis) where they are safe, provided for, loved, counseled and rehabilitated. The home provides for girls (currently 50 of them) ages 4-18 and I will be working with the three psychologists on base, in an internship of sorts. All of the work I have done in undergrad will come into play during this time. The ultimate goal is to be able to distribute written copies of what the Guatemalan psychologists are doing to Kids Alive bases around the world. I will get to write up what it is exactly that the psychologists do when the girls first arrive, and the techniques used throughout their stay at the Oasis to help them heal and recover from trauma. I will also get to:

• Sit in on counseling sessions 
• Assist in test administration 
• Assist in the discipleship ministry
• Work with the new home for young pregnant girls
• Help with the “Keeping Families Together” program
• Work with the social worker on base 

I just finished my internship with a school psychologist and I believe that it prepared me well for what I am going to be doing next year, in combination with all of my other past experiences as well! This is just be the beginning. Letters are in the process of being sent out, right now, so that you can learn how to become a partner with me, either prayerfully, financially, or both :)